Torn You Can Mend

Dear Readers, the nineteen-year-old continues to experience a year of separation. Separation from home and family, teen pregnancy, separation from her infant. She loses a sense of direction through displacement, entrapment, rape, and soul murder. Because of the LSD ‘medicine’, she becomes separated from her day to day consciousness,...

The Glory of Friendship

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson  ...

To Care, To Be Fair, To Be Humble

Dear Readers, This week, June 8, marks the 52nd anniversary of my son’s birth. The night yard will be filled with fireflies dazzling my eye as I recall the magic and the miracle of all that life brings. We are surrounded by what in Buddhism we learn to see...

From Wonder into Wonder

  If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. Henry David Thoreau   I wake inside a sleeping bag. I’m on the floor in the front room of the farmhouse. Band equipment fills the small space; guitars, amplifiers, drums, tambourines, keyboard, mike...

The Beautiful Trail

Dear Readers, One of the best gifts at this age is having the awareness that there are moments in life named: Pivotal. Turning points. Mystical Openings. Call them what you will just be sure to call them. Usher them in. Make space for the opportunity to never be the...

One Pill Makes You Larger …

Dear Readers, There is a bright turn occurring for the nineteen-year-old. The ‘medicine’ that “will help you feel better” is taking effect. As she transmits this part of her experience I am at the tree farm, eight days off-grid on 50-acres of completely quiet land (save for the wind...

This Will Help You

Here the story takes yet another profound and unbelievable turn. The nineteen-year-old tells of the bizarre and amazing experiences that create the extreme defining transition from her childhood to … ‘where am I now?’ She is being carried. She can have no idea what will happen next. Thank you,...

You Made Your Bed

The story now takes a turn becoming more of a challenge.  I include a warning at the close of this post. My seventy-one-year-old current self steps back allowing this story to be written. The nineteen-year-old self has waited for a very long time to tell of her experience.   ...

Not Ready for the Real World

  Every act rewards itself, or in other words, integrates itself, in a twofold manner; first in the thing, or in real nature; and secondly in the circumstance, or in apparent nature. Men call the circumstance the retribution. Compensation | Ralph Waldo Emerson   The world ‘out there’ is...

Purple Haze

I’m stepping back and letting my long-ignored nineteen-year-old Younger Self speak to her experience. Thank you for being here and bearing witness. I know that your life is odd and unusual right now. Writing this story is an interesting experiment in trust. I can see more clearly, with our...